It’s been 35 days since my last drink. This is only the third consecutive 30 days in the last year that I have been able to stay sober.
The last two years have been a living hell. I did so much damage to my life since I first relapsed two years ago. I’ve been in and out of detox centers, hospitals, and rehabs.
At certain times it seemed like I would never get to this point. It felt like the hill was too steep for me to climb. I felt like there was no way out.
However, we surprise ourselves sometimes. I’m finally at a point where I can see the future. The last few months of sober time have opened my eyes and clarified me.
Here are some lessons I learned in the last 30 days of sobriety.
The highs aren’t as high, and the lows aren’t as low as you think
I’ve learned that nothing is as good or bad as you think. We have this idea that certain things will bring an extreme amount of happiness, and certain things will bring an astounding amount of pain.
The truth is, those good things will boost happiness, but then you return to baseline. The bad things will also bring a lot of pain at first, then you return to baseline. We always adapt and create a new normal.
My addiction was the scapegoat in some ways
When you are in active addiction, you stop growing and maturing. Alcohol and drugs had become my scapegoat. It was so consuming that I didn’t think I had any other problems. I realize now that even without the alcohol, I still have all these problems I need to work on.
However, it would never be possible to address these problems if alcohol was still in my life. Alcohol was the tip of the iceberg, but it needed to leave for me to see the rest of my problems. I am now learning to address everything I have neglected and build myself into a better person.
Everything will get better gradually, not overnight
Rome was not built in a day. I can’t expect everything in my life to improve overnight. Some things have improved, and some haven’t. Such is life. I’ve learned it’s better to think long-term and be patient.
Most of my goals are for the next five years. I focus on what I can do daily to reach those goals and believe that if I continue to live this way, things will improve.
I didn’t just have an addiction problem, I had a living problem
Alcohol and substances were a huge problem for me. However, they were not the only problem. People think it will be all sunshine and rainbows when they get sober. It is not. I turned to alcohol and substances for a reason, I could not live life on life’s terms.
So now that I am sober, I realize how bad I was at life. I was surviving at best. Now I am trying to build a life. I want to have friends, a relationship, and a career. All of these are attainable now. They are no longer a pipe dream.
The past and future are irrelevant.
Most of my pain comes from shame from my past and worrying about the future. I am essentially worrying about two things that don’t exist. The past has already happened, and the future is not guaranteed.
Everything that happens to me happens in the now, so I need to start living there. There’s no pain in the current moment, Just peace.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
-Mark Twain
I am so happy I’ve gotten another chance at life. I am so grateful to be here to learn all these things. I’m faithful that I can achieve everything I want if I keep living my life one day at a time. I can finally become the person I was meant to be.
Thanks for sharing these insights. Huge respect for you and happy for you that you've managed this. Keep going 💪 ✨️